Why investing more time on people

Are you investing more in this person?

One hallmark of successful couples is investment—all the time, energy, emotions, etc. that people put into their relationships (Rusbult, 1980). People falling in love are likely increasing their investment in a person, linking their lives together in a way that might promote commitment and stability.

Falling in love is a uniquely intense period of time for anyone. But we need to sort out a lot of other questions during a falling-in-love phase: Beyond clear attraction, is this person someone who will support you, respect you, understand you, and be compassionate with you? And does this person share your values and priorities?

If you're lucky, putting in the time and effort during this initial period will pay off, and your mutual attraction can transition into a more stable (and less stressful) long-term relationship.

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Anarkali and Salim

by the film Mughal-E-Azam, this is the love story of the Mughal prince Salim, and the courtesan Anarkali. Salim’s father, the emperor Akbar was not happy with it, which led to Salim declaring a war against Akbar. Needless to say, Akbar won the war. To save Salim, it is said that Anarkali sacrificed herself by being entombed alive

Intense Your Emotions

How intense are your emotions? People high in attachment anxiety (i.e., they question their own self-worth in relationships) tend to experience a high degree of passion when romance is budding (Sanz Cruces et al., 2015). If that's not you, a lack of intense feeling isn’t necessarily a sign that Cupid hasn’t struck—not everyone experiences falling in love the same way. In fact, those who have avoidant attachment orientations tend to fall in love with much less intensity.

The Foolish Donkey

A salt seller used to carry the salt bag on his donkey to the market every day. On the way they had to cross a stream. One day the donkey suddenly tumbled down the stream and the salt bag also fell into the water. The salt dissolved in the water and hence the bag became very light to carry. The donkey was happy. Then the donkey started to play the same trick every day. The salt seller came to understand the trick and decided to teach a lesson to it. The next day he loaded a cotton bag on the donkey. Again it played the same trick hoping that the cotton bag would be still become lighter. But the dampened cotton became very heavy to carry and the donkey suffered. It learnt a lesson. It didn’t play the trick anymore after that day, and the seller was happy. Moral of the story: Luck won’t favor always.

Laziness won’t get you anywhere

“In ancient times, a king had his men place a boulder on a roadway. He then hid in the bushes, and watched to see if anyone would move the boulder out of the way. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers passed by and simply walked around it. Many people blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none of them did anything about getting the stone removed. One day, a peasant came along carrying vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to push the stone out of the way. After much pushing and straining, he finally managed. After the peasant went back to pick up his vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and note from the King explain that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the road.”

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