Why investing more time on people

Are you investing more in this person?

One hallmark of successful couples is investment—all the time, energy, emotions, etc. that people put into their relationships (Rusbult, 1980). People falling in love are likely increasing their investment in a person, linking their lives together in a way that might promote commitment and stability.

Falling in love is a uniquely intense period of time for anyone. But we need to sort out a lot of other questions during a falling-in-love phase: Beyond clear attraction, is this person someone who will support you, respect you, understand you, and be compassionate with you? And does this person share your values and priorities?

If you're lucky, putting in the time and effort during this initial period will pay off, and your mutual attraction can transition into a more stable (and less stressful) long-term relationship.

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Dante and Beatrice

Rarely has a woman served as such profound inspiration for a writer—and yet he barely knew her. The Italian poet Dante Alighieri wrote passionately of Beatrice in the Divine Comedy and other poems, but only met the object of his affection twice. The first time, he was nine years old and she was eight. The second time, they were adults, and while walking on the street in Florence, Beatrice, an emerald-eyed beauty, turned and greeted Dante before continuing on her way. Beatrice died at age 24 in 1290 without Dante ever seeing her again. Nonetheless, she was "the glorious lady of my mind," he wrote, and "she is my beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation."

The Foolish Donkey

A salt seller used to carry the salt bag on his donkey to the market every day. On the way they had to cross a stream. One day the donkey suddenly tumbled down the stream and the salt bag also fell into the water. The salt dissolved in the water and hence the bag became very light to carry. The donkey was happy. Then the donkey started to play the same trick every day. The salt seller came to understand the trick and decided to teach a lesson to it. The next day he loaded a cotton bag on the donkey. Again it played the same trick hoping that the cotton bag would be still become lighter. But the dampened cotton became very heavy to carry and the donkey suffered. It learnt a lesson. It didn’t play the trick anymore after that day, and the seller was happy. Moral of the story: Luck won’t favor always.

Human interaction

We are social animals. We crave contact with others for support, wellbeing and entertainment. But as our lifestyles become ever more transient and reliant on digital tools, these simple interactions are under threat. Nothing compares to living in real communities and spending actual physical time with the people we love. Why is human interaction so important? For one thing, it is important for our mental health. Social contact helps us to cope with stress and major life changes like a divorce, redundancy and moving house. And knowing that we are valued by others is an important psychological factor in helping us to forget the negative aspects of our lives, and thinking more positively about our environment. There is compelling evidence to suggest human contact is also vital for our physical health too. In a 2010 report in The Journal of Health and Social Behaviour, Debra Umberson and Jennifer Karas Montez, sociology researchers at the University of Texas at...

Love thoughts

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