Are You falling in love?

Are you falling in love? How can you tell?

There’s no question that the early stages of a relationship can be confusing. You might puzzle over your own feelings, and wonder what the person you’re dating really thinks of you. Your own emotions may be difficult to fully decipher, and trying to categorize them as falling in love or as just a passing attraction can be tricky. Is what you're feeling the real thing, or are you just prone to feeling this way and need to be careful moving forward?

Are you suddenly doing new things?

As people fall in love, they often branch out beyond their normal range of activities and try those that their partners favor. You might find yourself trying new foods, watching new shows, or attempting new activities like running, fishing, or gambling. People who fall in love tend to report growth in the content and diversity of their own self-concepts (Aron, Paris, & Aron, 1995).

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Human interaction

We are social animals. We crave contact with others for support, wellbeing and entertainment. But as our lifestyles become ever more transient and reliant on digital tools, these simple interactions are under threat. Nothing compares to living in real communities and spending actual physical time with the people we love. Why is human interaction so important? For one thing, it is important for our mental health. Social contact helps us to cope with stress and major life changes like a divorce, redundancy and moving house. And knowing that we are valued by others is an important psychological factor in helping us to forget the negative aspects of our lives, and thinking more positively about our environment. There is compelling evidence to suggest human contact is also vital for our physical health too. In a 2010 report in The Journal of Health and Social Behaviour, Debra Umberson and Jennifer Karas Montez, sociology researchers at the University of Texas at...

Dante and Beatrice

Rarely has a woman served as such profound inspiration for a writer—and yet he barely knew her. The Italian poet Dante Alighieri wrote passionately of Beatrice in the Divine Comedy and other poems, but only met the object of his affection twice. The first time, he was nine years old and she was eight. The second time, they were adults, and while walking on the street in Florence, Beatrice, an emerald-eyed beauty, turned and greeted Dante before continuing on her way. Beatrice died at age 24 in 1290 without Dante ever seeing her again. Nonetheless, she was "the glorious lady of my mind," he wrote, and "she is my beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation."

Anarkali and Salim

by the film Mughal-E-Azam, this is the love story of the Mughal prince Salim, and the courtesan Anarkali. Salim’s father, the emperor Akbar was not happy with it, which led to Salim declaring a war against Akbar. Needless to say, Akbar won the war. To save Salim, it is said that Anarkali sacrificed herself by being entombed alive

Why investing more time on people

Are you investing more in this person? One hallmark of successful couples is investment —all the time, energy, emotions, etc. that people put into their relationships (Rusbult, 1980). People falling in love are likely increasing their investment in a person, linking their lives together in a way that might promote commitment and stability. Falling in love is a uniquely intense period of time for anyone. But we need to sort out a lot of other questions during a falling-in-love phase: Beyond clear attraction, is this person someone who will support you, respect you, understand you, and be compassionate with you? And does this person share your values and priorities? If you're lucky, putting in the time and effort during this initial period will pay off, and your mutual attraction can transition into a more stable (and less stressful) long-term relationship.

Love thoughts

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